Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
