Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
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I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
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There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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