had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
did you just send me my own nude
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
