i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
