Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
