Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
