If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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