i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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