If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
