oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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