He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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