:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
