Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
