i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
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