i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
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