my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
