Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
this boner is exhausting
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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