how can u be prego again
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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