I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
