We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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