He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
