am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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