i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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