I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
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I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
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Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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