Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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