I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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