i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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