Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
