I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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