Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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