I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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