You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
