everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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