just tell him i said nine months
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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