were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
and you fell through a lawn chair
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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