**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
wrigley field is MILF paradise
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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