Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
