Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
