My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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