just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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