After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
