It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
