Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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