just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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