I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
foreskin is a definite game changer
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
