I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
