weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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