plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize