Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
