he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize