drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
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After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
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That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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