I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
