And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
