Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
