i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
