bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
