You smell like stripper and shame
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
