you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
