before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
