I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
