Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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