Where is the hickey?
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
